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The most important relationship is with yourself


Everything in life is about relationships. Absolutely everything. And with relationships, we are not talking only about your direct partner. It's your children, it's your relationship you have with nature. It's your relationship you have towards food, towards money, towards your work colleagues, towards your life. It's everything. But the most important relationship is with yourself. I believe that whatever we are holding in our mind to be true, we are projecting out into the so-called reality. So what we experience on our outside world is a direct link to what my belief patterns, my belief systems that are around a certain topic. If I experience difficulties in a relationship, I'm looking at myself first and think, What is it in me that is not healed yet or what is it I have not dealt with that I'm projecting out there? I used to be a really angry young person or teenager because of the experiences I made in my family. So, I didn't trust anybody and I was angry all the time. And of course, therefore, I attract it, people who would push my buttons, who would make me angry. Nobody out there has any control over the fact how you feel. It is your choice all the time. However, I attracted people who made me feel very angry and I wanted to argue. I wanted to fight the whole time. Until I realize that it's not them out there who do it. It is something within me that have not either healed or have not dealt with or have not had an honest look at. And once I did that and started working on those things within myself, all of a sudden the relationships outside change. So its my marriage was the same. I blamed my husband for so many things (my ex-husband). I thought he didn't do this in order to make me feel happy or secure or whatever I was after. But it was the relationship with myself and that I felt the need to feel safe for example which you only can achieve if you feel like that. Nobody can give you this feeling. It is within yourself and I had to forgive. When we talk about forgiveness too that comes into it, it's forgiving yourself most of the time and not others. Forgiving others means again only what you experience out there is a direct reflection of what you hold to be true and what you believe to be true and if it shows up in the form of relationships that you don't like, you might as well just look at yourself first instead of blaming the opposite party because the opposite party is only mirroring something back to you. It took me a long time to accept that and a little longer to actually be grateful for these people who pushed my buttons because what they did is they make me realize there was another area I haven't dealt with and there was another area where I reacted rather than responded. Now, when that happens, sometimes not on the first instance,but very soon after I am actually thanking them in my head and bless them for bringing that up and because it's an opportunity then for me to heal this heart and then your relationships will change automatically. I guarantee it.

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