The benefits of observing through mindfulness

__________J.J. Thiret__________ they go out and they road rage they drive the car they scream in people, they give them the bird and-and they, want to change that kind of behavior so they do the opposite um they wave at people (laughing) smile and even though they don't wanna do it, even though that's not what they're feeling inside, is it a good idea to fake it until you make it to where you want ? __________James Williams__________ Well, you know Abraham Maslow one of the uh, kind of early researches into kind of humanists psychology you would say that you have to, be-become the person to be abl- before you actually do whatever that type of person does in other word you know you have to, be the person he's gonna smile and wave for you and start to actually just sit there on the car and wave and then see the people the same time, now um put it this way I think there's a senses that could go on here and that you could sit in the car and you could wave and smile but yeah you could also perhaps use mindfulness to be aware of those feeling and to use that opportunity to-to be mindful and to sit and watch the emotions as they flow through you. __________J.J. Thiret__________ Right as an observer. __________James Williams__________ Exactly cause that can then help that's one of things that people can do to help, um you know lower the levels of reactivity um, and to be able to start to change into more motivated state to do the things they want to do, so great point! __________J.J. Thiret__________ So a conscious observer. __________James Williams__________ Yes. Very much observe, very much observe like the person who is watching the flashlight shine on to the inside of the cave so they are watching they're conscious mind notice what's bubbling up from their own conscious. __________J.J. Thiret__________ And I think that would be for me it would be something that would take quite a lot practice um, specially they had all those anger and the, huh and they are wanting to act on their anger and instead of that they just kind of look at and say oh okay I guess I'm angry yeah well the- (giggles) you know but they watch their emotions as the emotions rise and fall right? __________James Williams__________ Right yeah and you know that might be bodily sensation that they notice, you know they might feel you know the-the anger in terms of them they gritching their teeth um, so you know its uh then you know you would watch the tension in the jar, um and you know you would they would feel perhaps the tension increase and maybe start to decrease you know it-it takes different amount of time one of the things I found as my own growth J.J.is that, initially you must started watching my motions, it would take me maybe 2-3 minutes for me to watch the emotion to start change and beco- and to move from say you know anger towards something that was more such as a neutral kind of state um or something such as peace or maybe just a little kind of happiness, so it's-it does take observation it takes persistence and I tell you the rewards are, they're worth it. __________J.J. Thiret__________ Uhm, so you feel more grounded now you feel like you know who you are and so you have consciousness and-and that's good and you've notice that your dealings or you're in a personal relationships have changed have they? __________James Williams__________ Oh yeah, I'll tell you, I-it's is if I'm now stepping into who I believe at least for now I'm kinda meant to be but when I younger I was very shy, and uh I would generally you know not be very-very-very introverted uh, now at 39 I'm far less introverted um my, you know I see that relationships are uh a-an opportunity for us to understand others and to share love in our interactions and you know, you know multitude in different ways and so it's, yeah it- it's very-very, it's very-very, life now is very different um I have a bigger social circle uh the benefits have extended in to my business into opportunities that have come to me um and I have seen as well and started to step into so I must say that my life has-has, yeah has been a significant transformation in the past 3 years.