Setting you own goal and making a progress

_________ Ronald Kaiser___________ I like to have them set goals. I call my approach goal achieving psychotherapy and I think it does fill the gap between thinking and doing and a few other kinds of gaps but, basically between thinking and doing and one of the ways in which we do it is... again like the gym, I have exercise cards. I have them set out what they're going to be doing whether it's uh dealing with changing eating behaviors, whether it's starting to call friends that they haven't spoken to, whether it's beginning to go out and ask somebody directions so they're overcoming a degree of shyness. But they're going to do a few things different in the next week than they did last week. Somebody may be further along and that may not be their issue, just as you go to the gym and that's, that's what happens. Some people are pumping, you know, a lot of iron, some people if they can get on the treadmill for ten minutes they've accomplished something and we've got to accept that and get them proud of that _________ J.J. Thiret ___________ what I think differentiate, differentiates you, coach Kaiser from drill sergeant Kaiser is that you said, you just said to me and I heard it, was is that you, with them, choose a plan. They choose it. They choose with the cards and and they're choosing. You're not saying ok, you need to do this, this, this and, this and that. what you say is: "What do you think you'll be able to do this week? Does this sound like a..." you know, and you contract with them, but they come up with the the regimen. You give them some ideas they choose from those in that sense, that's empowering for them, is it? _________ Ronald Kaiser___________ Yes. And I... First of all I couldn't begin to get inside their head and regardless of the fact that I'm a psychologist. I can't tell what's meaningful for them. I may guess at it but I think a lot of us guess wrong by trying to put a one-size-fits-all type of thing on them so They're the ones who make the selections. I... Right from the beginning, uh one of my phrases is uh we- We're in this together. And in the first session I tell them that, you know, I'm really proud that uh, that that you're working with me. I'm real proud that you chose me because I think that, for many people uh, you really don't want to set up a structure where they're going to be dependent on you to make them grow