Letting your partner off the hook

You know how it is when you are starting a relationship and everything seems so great and you're in-love, you're in-love with this person, you're in-love with life, and everything is rosy and then everything starts to change. Everybody wonders what it is this great secret to keep a happy relationship? So what I'll share you with today is all about letting your partner off the hook. They're not here to make you happy. That's your job. And I know that flies in the face with this romantic ideal that we brings for a bunch [inaudible] in the society that you find your perfect soulmate and they're going incredibly know everything that you need, every moment of the day and they're just happily provide that for you because that's what they're for. Not true. Not true. A relationship will be much happier, much smoother when you realize that you're the one responsible for your own happiness and you just totally let them off the hook. So be the partner that you want to have. You know extend the same loving thought and feelings to your partner that you would have than extend to you. So this means don't go about trying to change them. They are perfectly fine exactly the way they are. And how would you feel if someone's trying to change you? You will probably be very resistance to that. And I would hope so. Because that means to supervise for a change should come from within and could not be about for another person. So how do you come together again if it isn't the way it is? Well, you start from focusing on the things that you love about this person. And even if you're one of those times of difficulty, it might be a little bit hard to get focus on the things that you love about them. But do try to do that. [Inaudible], write a gratitude letter about all the qualities you really enjoy and you really admire and love about your partner. You need focus on these. And that the other things fall away for now. You know they will resolved themselves like in all likelihood as you change your perception. So write his gratitude list. You might want to share with your partner or like talking into a birthday card or something. But even if you don't they're going to sense your shift in your attitude. So if you're trying to heal a relationship, really focus on the positive aspects of this person. Write a [inaudible] about it. Find any photos that you have that reflect of you being happy together and post them around your house like have them prominently displayed. Really concentrate on that. And if somebody's asking you about your relationship, this is the time to trash your partner. This is the time to say no, I'm really blessed to have him in my life and I really and I try to focus as much as I can on that everyday. You don't want to share the latest fights. You don't want to that he set it, I set it, he said. You don't want to do that with other people, and you don't need to do that in your own head. So if you have a disagreement, remove yourself from the situation. Go for a walk and don't spend that time replaying what you could said, what he should said, what he should done. Try to take your tension completely away from it until you are ready to think of your partner and in more positive light. So this is contagious, huge rewards in a relationship. Proximity is successful in doing that. And you know this is no [inaudible] showering your partner with some of the things that you wish they would shower you well. You know compliments, like flowers, little gifts. There's no rule saying which partner is responsible for doing this. No men enjoy receiving flowers as much as women do. They're like that you're taking the time to think of them, to compliment and then appreciate them for who they are rather than just focusing on their flaws [inaudible]that you're going to fix them. So hold this person in your heart and tell them as much love and compassion and understanding that you can when you're not together. And when you are together keep that focus [inaudible]. Don't be so [inaudible phrase] your battles or whatever you are particularly great might happen to be. That's pretty small on the grants living thing. And again the more that you think about how generous they are in other areas, the more you're going to see evident on that in your life. So just remember, the most important thing to remember, your partner is not here to make you happy. So once again, let them off the hook and you'll both enjoy happier relationship. Thanks for listening. Have a great day! Bye for now.