Thinking be do have
_________Madison Stern___________ "Think. Be. Do. Have." _________Jason Sugar___________ Yeah. _________Madison Stern___________ Can you tell me some more about that? _________Jason Sugar___________ Absolutely. OK, so that's, um, I didn't come up with this, this is an ancient wisdom, um, the idea being, so it's a paradigm that I've adopted, not just for my life, but it's a foundation for the coaching that I do. Simply, it means "As I think, so I am. As I am, so I do. And, as I do, so I have," meaning my thoughts, my way of thinking, my point of view, my perspective, the lenses through which I, uh, look at reality or look at life, um, is what to a great extent, is what gives me my experience, how I feel, my feelings. So, it's not what's happening out there so much as how I see what's happening out there or what I think about what's happening out there. That gives me my experience, what I call my experience. Uh, uh, the "I am." And then, how I feel very much directs my behavior; what I'm willing to do, what I'm not willing to do So the first, the thing to do is, what I do is, I work with people to work backwards to discover ? work backwards from their circumstances, down through the behavior, down through the experience that they have, uh, how they feel to what's the thought, the point of view, the habitual way of thinking, the belief that's actually the source of what's not, what's not working. So, uh, and then, I can give you, so as an example, let's say somebody wants to lose weight, um, and they, they're twenty-five more pounds than they want to be. So that's the circumstances. That's the results that they have and what's the behavior? What are you doing and not doing that contributes to that weight? You may be eating a certain way. You might not be exercising; that kind of thing. Um, you look underneath that, and you say, "Well, you know," and this could take, again, any period of time period, over weeks or months, what is your experience that you have around your weight; around your health; around your weight? Uh, you might find that they're feeling sad or, uh, resigned, or feeling, um, angry. Who knows what that feeling is? And it's that feeling that is, to a great extent, directing their behavior, which is not working, and so, if we look at that feeling, we look at underneath that feeling, well, what is it? What is it that's causing the fear, uh, or the anger or the resignation the sadness, um, or even fear. Well, underneath that may be a fear that I don't deserve to, uh, be the weight I want, or, um, I don't have the ability. I don't have the capability. I'm not capable. I don't have the willpower. You know, maybe, maybe when they were a child, their parents kept saying, kept drilling that into their heads: they, they don't, they're no good. They're useless. They don't, they could never do what they wanted. They, they can never get what they want. They can never do what they want. They don't have the power. Or maybe, uh, they just absorbed that from their environment at school, or who knows? But that belief that I'm not capable, or I don't deserve it, or some variation of those things, are what's driving this, this experience and this behavior and these circumstances that they have that doesn't work for them. So once we create a, a space around accepting that that's how they think and feel, then a new, then something new becomes possible. So, what's another point of view? What if you do deserve? You know, what if the fact that your parents were overweight has nothing to do, whatsoever, with the weight you can be at? what if you do have the willpower? Look at these, look at these other areas of your life where you are super, you know, in, in control and on top of things. So clearly you do have. What if you do have the willpower? Well, then, "Oh my God, I do. Well, what if I do have the willpower? I, I, I do deserve this. Well, my God, then that's awesome." Then they do become, automatically they do have this new experience. "I'm new. I'm excited." Transpiration, energy, which, now, when we look at, "OK, so what could you do, uh, that would take some weight off?" "Well, pshaw, I don't do this, this, this, and this." It's not like we don't know what you do. We know what to do. It's eat properly and do some exercise. It's not like rocket science. But, now, they'll have the energy. Now, they're inspired. Now they have a belief that's drive that allows for this. And then they'll take the actions. And then they'll produce the results, so that in a, that's kind of the discovery, what I call the discovery and recreation process.