Some helpful secrets on how to make a relationship work
What are some of the secrets to a healthy relationship that most people are sadly not aware of? I think the very first one would be a relationship is not 50-50. It takes a 100% for each person for a relationship to work. And the mere fact that relationships don't work, they need constant work from both parties and a hundred percent. And the other clich that people use from time to time is that they say that, "You know, a relationship is a two-way street". I don't think it's a two-way street. I think it's a one way street. If it's a two-way street, we will either go and we will head on - make a collision or pass each other in the night if it's a two way street. I believe it's a one-way street, both parties going in one direction, having a common goal regarding their relationship - what is love? What needs to be done? So a relationship, and that's the sad thing about it, it's not really a secret it is just that we have been mistaught by our elders that relationships are 50-50. So then we give only 50%, yeah then it's all just half measures. Half measures as we know them but yeah you have to participate 100%. The other little secret is not making assumptions. Not making assumptions in a relationship regarding my partner knows what I want. And that is he/she should know by now. We don't know. I don't know what my wife always wants or don't want. You have to ask. You as a partner if you are not sure you have to ask the question. And it's not because you don't know and if the partner says "Yes, but you're supposed to know by now!" Sometimes, we change our minds. Life changes constantly. So any constant thing in life is change hence our partner's opinion or feelings about an issue can change very quickly. Don't take anything personally. Don't reboot by [inaudible] the four agreements. Don't take anything personally. Deep subject, probably a tough cookie. But possible. Always do your best in your relationship. And then probably the one that really understands be impeccable with your word and what it truly means. Then some other secrets, they're not secrets, are purely just simple stuff. Knowing when your partner gets home, what is the first thing your partner wants to do? I want to sit and relax. Have a cup of coffee. Whatever it is I like to do when I relax for a half an hour just unwind. The traffic was overbearing. It was a tough day. Don't want the kids jumping on me, etc. as an example. And just talk. Talk for half an hour. And then I'm really full of hearing and then go. And vice versa. I know what my partner wants. My partner likes my acknowledgement. How was your day? Did you have a relaxing 20 minutes, a half an hour or whatever the case may be? And then the evening goes on. My partner likes when we cook together, etc. These do the things we love, we do them together. Otherwise, what's the use of being in a relationship and nothing works? So the secrets, these little secrets that I shared with you, not common, they're not really secrets. Just things that people forget in a relationship. So, thank you for allowing me to share this. Until the next topic.