Frustrations about addiction to second place


_________ J.J. Thiret ___________ What has been your biggest frustration the biggest pain the thing that you just want to pull your hair out about? _________ Ronald Kaiser___________ Well I think you get lots of frustrations but I I do think that uh... probably the biggest frustration is uh... I have uh a concept that I call 'competent persons disease' which I believe is the addiction to second place. in other words, I think there are a group of people who are they're not losers there very competent people and they know that they're very competent people but they get stuck in second place because they're saving everybody else and for some people... it's been rewarding, you know. If you're a person who's going to uh... do everything: work, take care of the house, mail the letters, because you got to... you're the only one who can be absolutely certain it will get in the mailbox. You load the dishwasher because you know which way the dishes are supposed to face um you know if whatever it is um and I see this with a lot of headache patients you know you can suffer and still do ok uh... and then you don't let other people grow. And the process is though that it involves you getting stuck... _________ J.J. Thiret ___________ it sounds like to me that you're describing somebody that I would call Mr. or Mrs. Fix-it. Mr. or Mrs. Good wrench. They don't allow anyone else in. They've got this kind of thing going on um... I think that's what you're describing to me somebody who is ok with second-place and doesn't... they don't aim high enough. They aim low and stick. _________ Ronald Kaiser___________ Yeah, they aim low and stick and that's, again, my biggest frustration is... the problem is in second place you get some rewards for it. People... if somebody's down lower then they're hurting more. In second place there are some rewards and and that drives me nuts when somebody has the potential to be you know a real winner and they don't go for it. uh... and they're not having that much fun because if you know you're getting rewards but if you're a slave to everybody else you're not having that much fun.

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