Be honest with yourself
If there is a secret to a healthy relationship, I would have to say it's the honesty and I am not talking about the honesty towards other people, I am talking about the honesty towards yourself. It's probably one of the largest challenges that anybody in a healthy relationship has is to be honest with yourself. It's not that you had the affair. You can say that. You can be honest to your partner about that. That's not the hard part. The hard part is to be honest with yourself and I found that in my Loving Relationship workshops, the exercise that takes place about that particular topic is probably the most challenging thing that they will have to do. Be honest with yourself. Because when you are honest with yourself you have the ability to be intimate with yourself. You can be truthful. You can be passionate about things that you would normally try and conceal and keep away from other people but if you are honest about it, it just takes on a completely different kind of life. You can become playful again, you can become childlike. And what isn't more lovable and cherishable in anything of a relationship that you are honest. Not towards other people but to yourself, that you are so comfortable in yourself. If you look at people and you see how they rest in themselves, how they are comfortable in their own skin and you might say, Wow, I don't know what is it that shes got but there's that particular thing. It's the ability to love yourself, to love yourself completely and to acknowledge that we are not perfect. We do have flaws and be honest about it. It's not a mistake. It's not something that you feel less valuable about but the ability to be honest with yourself creates the ability to be intimate with yourself and once that is established, it changes your relationship completely and it just allows everything to be natural and healthy. So, yeah, the ability to be healthy and to be honest with yourself. To other people, that's the easy part but to be honest with yourself, that's the hard part.