Its important to understand why you are angry and the root causes of your anger. In other words, closely examine your thoughts and what you remember to be the causes of your anger.
Examine one cause of your anger at a time.
When examining the possible causes of your anger, limit your examination to one specific cause or source at a time. Moreover, attempt to isolate one potential cause or source of your anger from all the other potential causes or sources.
Is your anger legitimate or based on expectations?
When attempting to understand why you are angry, be sure to first determine whether your anger is actually legitimate or if your anger is based upon your (perhaps unmet) expectations.
Learning to live with circumstance can curve anger.
Remember that circumstantial anger can be the most difficult to overcome and resolve. For example: Even if you do not like your parents or siblings, you will need to learn to live with them as this is something that cannot be changed.
Avoid circumstances that cause anger.
When it comes to circumstantial anger, the best way to overcome it may be to avoid the circumstances that come with it. In other words, avoiding certain people, situations or certain types of relationships may be your best options.
When angry, take a deep breath and start counting.
Whenever you feel the anger inside of you rising to the surface, taking ten deep breaths while counting should really help to calm you down.
Transfer your anger to a punching bag.
A good way to manage and control anger is by transference and one of the best way's to transfer one's anger is to use an inanimate object like a punching bag.
Leave a situation that gets you angry.
If you are in a situation where you feel that your anger is taking over you, its best to just leave or excuse yourself from the situation to avoid doing something that you may come to later regrete.
Anger can be justified but don't just lash out.
There are often situations where your anger is justified and its best that you show just how angry you really are. However, there is never an excuse for letting your anger cause you to just lash out indescriminately at others.
Time helps to put things in perspective.
Remember that a good night's sleep or even a short walk outside can really make a huge difference as time always gives you the chance to put things into perspective and to calm down.
Don't just bottle up anger inside of you.
There is a difference between controlling your anger and bottling it up inside of you where it can also do you evn more harm. In other words, find a healthy way to express your anger that won't harm others.
Find a creative outlet for your anger and energy.
Find a creative outlet where you can expend your feelings of anger and excessive energy. Even better, find a creative outlet for your anger tht actually helps others besides just yourself.
When angry, think of something to be thankful of.
When you are starting to feel angry, think of some of the things that make you feel thankful as its difficult to feel angry and thankful at the same time.
When getting angry, go some place alone and count.
If someone or something is starting to make you feel angry, simply excuse yourself and go into an empty room or outside where you can take a deep breath and count to ten. This will calm you down.
Lower your expectations to control expectations anger.
If you feel angry because someone or something is not living up to your expectations, perhaps you need to think about lowering your expectations to better meet reality.
Only you can live up to your own strict standards.
People who are wedded to strict standards or expectations for others will have a tendency to get angry when others fail to live up to those standards or expectaions. Hence, apply your standards to yourself rather than to everyone else.
Don't let anger driven by frustration control you.
Anger that is driven by frustration at something such as poverty or at something that happened in the distance past may be justified but it should not be allowed to control your emotions and the future.
Angry identities mistakenly feel entitled.
When anger becomes part of your identity, you may feel that you are entitled to special privileges. Instead, try to channel your anger into something more creative and beneficial to yourself and those around you.
Anger and stress tend to go hand and hand.
Stress and anger often go hand and hand with stress being thr trigger for anger. Hence, anger management should first begin with stress management so that stress does not turn into anger.
Learning empathy can help one control their anger.
Anger can often be a combination of other people?s often poor behavior as well as our lack of empathy towards others or the situation they are end. Hence, learning empathy can help one to control thei anger.
Learn how to respond rather than just react.
Learn how to respond to others rather than just react to them or to their actions will go a long way towards helping you to control your anger.
Good communication skills go a long way.
Having good communication skills will be essential for controling anger a often or not its poor communication skils that are at the root cause of anger or emotional hurt.
Sometimes you need to let go without forgetting.
Hold a grudge or a grievance against someone or something will do more harm to yourself than to the other person or source. Sometimes letting go without forgetting is the best course of action.
Do a time-out but agree to return after a period.
A retreat or a time out is an effective form of anger management so long as you agree to return within a reasonable amount of time in order to work things out.
Control anger rather than try to avoid it.
Anger management should not be about never getting angry. Instead, anger management should be about controlling the more destructive aspects about anger.
Dealing with feelings of anxiety
Anxiety is a negative emotion that can interfere with your life. Try to identify the root of your anxiety. Better planning may help, but you also have to realize that no one is perfect and there are times when you have to let go.
Avoid sources of your anxiety
Avoid things that cause you anxiety. Of course there are some things you have to face, such as work. However, you can avoid some sources of anxiety whether people or certain situations.
Investing relationships to cope with depression
To help cope with depression, you need to build supportive relationships. Take the time to get involved in activities you love and invest in the relationships you have.
Deal with feelings of grief
Grief is a natural reaction to loss. If you are experiencing loss, then do not try to push away or repress your grief. Take time to recognize and deal with your feelings.
Deal with grief in a healthy way
Grief needs to be dealt with in a healthy way. Talking about your feelings with someone you trust may help. Neglecting this feeling will make it worse.
Dealing with feelings of guilt
People struggle with feelings of guilt for a variety of reasons. It is important to recognize the reason for feeling guilt. Then you will be able to make amends and move on with your life.
Jealousy only holds you back
Jealousy is a feeling that often holds you back. You spend so much time worrying about other people that you are unable to focus on your own life. Instead of focusing on what other people have, enjoy your own successes.
Don't let jealousy hold you back
Jealousy can be a poisonous emotion. You may find that you spend so much time worrying about what others have that you are not able to prosper in your own life. Do not let jealousy hold you back.
Deal with jealousy by self-improvement
Feeling jealous of others is a common problem. If you are struggling with jealousy, evaluate where you feel lacking in your own life. You also have to honestly evaluate your own strengths and work on your weaknesses.
Do not let anger cloud your judgment
Anger is a compromising emotion. It can lead to making bad choices that you will regret. Next time you are feeling angry, calm down before making a decision.
When angry, imagine them as a baby
The next time you want to shout at someone, imagine them as a baby. It may make you laugh. It may make you realise that we are all human and fallable.
Anger is a complex emotion
Anger is actually made up of 3 different elements--thinking, feeling, and, finally, acting. You will deal with anger more effectively if you can differentiate between each of these elements.
Be aware of when you're getting angry
Your first move in managing your anger is to acknowledge angry feelings, and at the least, be aware that you're experiencing anger. The awareness that your getting angry is the first step in dealing with it.
Irritation and disappointment precede anger
You may not be aware of it, but two of the emotions that precede anger are Irritation and disappointment. If you recognize these two emotions, you are that much closer to short-circuiting the anger response.
Hostility is an unhealthy habit
If you are angry and hostile as a habit, you'll be more prone to heart attacks and strokes. A hostile attitude can also increase your potential of premature death from other causes, too.
Negative thoughts about people cause anger
The thinking, or thought part of anger and hostility is comprised of negative beliefs about other people or situations. Negative thoughts about people increase your sense of defensiveness.
Anger escalates into a problem
The feeling part of anger escalates from disappointment to annoyance, then irritation, resentment, frustration, contempt, and finally rage. If you can intercept the escalation, you can avoid an angry outburst.
It's only natural to get angry sometimes
Getting angry is not a problem. Being angry all the time, and easily angered, is the problem. It's only natural to get angry occasionally, but an habitually angry personality is unhealthy.
The third element of anger is action
The action part of anger usually results in confrontation. This will usually be spoken, but in many situations may result in physically violent actions such as speeding, punching a wall, etc.
Angry actions result in massive crimes
Extreme angry actions are demonstrated by gang-related activities, mass shootings, and other drastic situations. This has resulted in public demand for legislative action.
Redirection can make use of anger
Since anger is an extremely energetic emotion, some people are able to tap into that energy to constructively deal with the situation that caused the anger. See if you can creatively redirect that energy.
Early recognition can stop anger
The first step to controlling your anger is to recognize the feelings that trigger an angry outburst. The feelings of disappointment or irritation usually preceed an anger attack, so you can take action at that point.
Anger can turn to rage suddenly
If you are not aware of your anger, you'll have a harder time stopping it. Once you reach the stage of anger, it's often a short trip to the point of rage, which could make you hurt others, or yourself.
"I" statements can stop the anger
You may find yourself getting angry at other people who don't meet your expectations. At the point of irritation, you need to make an "I" statement to address the problem.
"You" statements just make people defensive
When you use "you" statements, you are making an accusitory statement, which escalates an angry situation. When a person feels accused, they will try to defend themselves rather than deal with the problem.
"I" statements express your feelings
An "I" statement is something like, "I feel like I'm always having to pick up after you. It makes me feel really irritated." A "you" statement will just make the other person defensive.
Walk away if you can
Notice some of your anger signals. Does your voice get louder, your jaw tighten, your breathing change, your hands clench? If so, turn and walk away if possible.
Stop yourself when you start getting angry
When you find yourself getting angry, stop what you're doing. If you need to take a deep breath or shake out your hands, do so. This will also signal those with you that they have pushed your buttons.
Picture the consequence
Think about what will happen if you get angry. If you picture the aftermath of your expression of anger, it will help you stop the feelings before they escalate out of control.
Understanding anger helps control it
When you start getting angry, ask yourself why. Are you really angry at the kids or your spouse, or are you angry at traffic or your boss? Categorizing your anger will help you start controlling it.
What are you really mad at
Sometimes, we'll think that it's saver to loose our temper with family members. That doesn't make it fair to them. Find out what you're really mad at, and take care of the problem.
Can you exercise out your anger
See if there is some kind of activity you can participate in that will reduce your anger. Can you go for a short run, take a cold shower, go to kick-boxing class, or some other activity?
Reprogram with rewards for control
Don't be afraid to reward yourself for controlling your anger. This reward system is a celebration that your psyche really needs. It will help reprogram your emotions to enjoy your life.
Angry people are often sicker
People with high hostility problems are far more likely to have serious health problems. Highly angry people tend to smoke more, drink more, and not take care of themselves as well.
Think happy words to build yourself up
Choose words with positive meanings to repeat to yourself in stressful situations. Think the words "gratitude", "tolerance", "optimistic", "generosity". It helps to make a mental picture of yourself feeling this.
Achieving an emotional balance is healthy
Remember, it's ok to get mad, just don't be angry all the time. A balance is always healthier, and achieving balance between anger and contentment will boost your ability to deal with anger triggers.